How a Husband Builds a Godly Home
By Glen Young
Have you ever heard these expressions: “The little woman,” “The old ball and chain”? Have you ever used one of these expressions? I would hope that husbands think more highly of their wives than to be guilty of such inconsiderate remarks. Now, this brings me to a discussion of how husbands can build a godly home by changing their perception of their wives.
Where did you get your wife? Think a moment, then consider this, “House and riches are an inheritance from fathers; But a prudent wife is from Jehovah” (Proverbs 19:14). Do you accept that your wife was given to you from God? I believe this is where we must start. Too many husbands never think in terms of their wives as a gift from God. The failure to think this way has caused husbands to think of their wives as burdens and, to put it mildly, the cause of all their troubles. They believe that all their failures and unhappiness are the fault of their wives. Yet, God says, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of Jehovah” (Proverbs 18:22). Until husbands think appropriately about their wives there cannot be a godly home.
Two things are responsible for this fault in the husband’s thinking. First, he does not understand his wife’s mental and emotional state. Women are different from men in more ways than those that are obvious. Women view life and its problems differently. They tend to approach life with the need to be caregivers. They are not problem solvers. They want to talk about their problems but what they need is someone to listen and then to give them a hug, expressing one’s concern for the hurt they feel.
On the other hand, men are problem solvers. They can hear a problem explained and in a matter of moments give forth an infallible solution. When their wives need one thing, they are giving something else. They then become frustrated because their wives are continually upset about a problem that could be solved at the snap of the finger if the wife would just do what he told her to do. Does any of these sound familiar yet? Second, is the husband’s failure to understand and apply biblical teaching to his relationship with his wife. In Ephesians 5:23, we are told that the husband is the head of his wife. We husbands love to hear sermons preached on this passage. I am convinced husbands have not comprehended what headship means. Let me illustrate. The Apostle’s comparison is to Christ’s headship over the church. When it came to effecting reconciliation in the church, who effected that reconciliation? Christ did (Romans 5:10). When there is division between the husband and wife, who is to effect reconciliation? The husband is. That is a part of his responsibility as being her head. The husband that is so childish that he pouts for days until his wife gives in, isn’t head of anything