How a Wife Builds a Godly Home
By Glen Young
Several years ago in a discussion about the home, I made the point that the wife should never put her children before her husband. Needless to say, this created quite a stir. I thought for a moment that some of my sisters were about to resurrect the old custom of tarring and feathering.
Years of dealing with church problems that directly relate to problems in the home have caused me to conclude that before there can be a godly home, there must be a godly relationship between the husband and wife. The foundation of the home is faulty when God is left out of the husband wife relationship. Because God created marriage, abiding together as God teaches, results in a godly relationship.
God solved Adam’s problem of being incomplete by creating for him a helpmeet, which Adam called woman for she was taken out of man (Genesis 2:21-23). For this reason, a man [woman] is to leave their parents and cleave to their mate. In this way, the two become one flesh (Genesis 2:24-25). The coming together as one flesh certainly addresses the issue of physical union, and yet, it is more. It brings into existence a home which contains different personalities that must learn to function as one.
The intimacy of marriage is considered by God to be undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). From this God sanctioned joining, children are born (Genesis 1:28). It is both joyous and frightening when the home is blessed with children. As we glory in this blessing, we must not forget God’s order of things.
Problems occur in marriages when wives assume the role of mother to the exclusion of their role as wife. She must remember that she was a wife before she was a mother. Paul recognized this potential problem for he told older women to, “train the young women to love their husbands” (Titus 2:4). He further instructs Christian husbands and wives to, “Defraud ye not one the other, except it be by consent for a season, that ye may give yourselves unto prayer, and may be together again, that Satan tempt you not because of your incontinency” (1 Corinthians 7:5).
The loving passion that is manifested in the sexual union is not all there is to the husband and wife relationship. Of equal importance, is the subjection of the wife (Ephesians 5:22-24). “For after this manner aforetime the holy women also, who hoped in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands: as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose children ye now are, if ye do well, and are not put in fear by any terror” (1Peter 3:5-6). She will find that many of the burdens she finds so upsetting will flee from her if she will just abide in her God given role.
When wives learn to put their love for their husbands in the number one spot, it will go a long way in developing the foundation upon which to build a godly home.