Why I Want To Marry A Christian
By Ward Plato
Living a life that is pleasing to God in this day and age is becoming increasingly difficult. Look at all the things that Satan and his army bombard us with on a daily basis. Sexual immorality, drunkenness, obscene music, movies, books, and television shows; not to mention immodest dress and the various forms of idolatry today. Look at Washington DC and Hollywood, the corruption, the immoral lifestyles, and the total disregard for anything godly, good, or moral. So why would I want to complicate my personal and home life further, by selecting as my mate a non-Christian? –A mate whose main focus in life is not the Lord or serving Him and getting to heaven when she dies. By having a non-Christian mate, I would be making it infinitely more difficult to serve God and live the Christian life. There are five different reasons that I would like to give for marring a Christian in the remainder of the article.
(1) I want someone who loves the Lord and cares about my soul.
Deuteronomy 6:5 says: “And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” Can a non-Christian do this? No! Because he/she knows not God and has not obeyed the Gospel. (II Thessalonians 1:7-9). My unbelieving spouse would be part of this group. Her god would be the god of this world, who is Satan, that is who she would be following and loves whether I want to admit it or not. (Matthew 6:24). I want to marry a devoted child of God – one who has the same morals and beliefs as I do. One whose values are shaped by the New Testament. A spouse who lets the word of God be a lamp unto her feet and a light unto her path. (Psalms 119:105). I want to wake up every morning knowing that we love the Lord and that we are going to be an encouragement to each other as well as the world around us. I want to be sitting next to my spouse during worship service having the same mind and spirit. I want both of us together through our worship and our Christian lives to bring glory to the Lord God almighty! The unbelieving spouse cannot do this. Proverbs 31:10 says: “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies.” So what type of mate are you looking for?
(2) I want to marry someone who wants to serve the Lord – who is interested in going to heaven.
Joshua 24:15 says: “And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood or the gods of the Amorites in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” An unbelieving mate doesn’t care about serving the Lord. If she did, she would be a Christian. She is serving a different God than I am. She is serving the God of this world, Satan who is the Prince of Darkness. I Corinthians 15:33 says: “Be not deceived evil communications [companionships] corrupt good manners [Morals].”
ls there any company more intimate or influential on our lives than our spouse? Think about it. If I marry “bad company” how can I escape the evil influence that she would have over me when such a large portion of my life is spent with her? This corruption will not take place overnight, like the devil and sin it will creep up on me over the years. My unbelieving spouse will exert more bad influence than good as the years go by. By taking the attitude of; “do you have to attend every service? Look at all that money you’re just giving away to the church when we could use it on something else like a vacation, new car, clothes, furniture etc. Honey don’t make the kids go with you to church they don’t really want to go, besides this is the only day I have to spend quality time with them, with work and all my other activities.” An unbelieving spouse will keep you from getting together with other Christians by telling you: “they are so boring all they ever do is have singings or talk about religion, the Bible, and how they’re always right and the rest of us are wrong. Like they are the only ones that are going to heaven!” Do you think that this is true or false? It is very true if you will be honest with yourself! Look at what happened to Solomon and he was the wisest man who ever lived. Read I Kings 11:1-13 and see what it says. Verse l says: “King Solomon loved many strange women.” Verse 2 says: “Of the nations concerning which the Lord said unto the children of Israel, Ye shall not go in to them, neither shall they come in unto you: for surely they will turn away your heart after their gods: Solomon clave unto these in love.” Verse 3 says: “And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.” Verse 4 says: “For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart and after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord God, as was the heart of David his father.” Don’t be foolish enough to think that it can’t and won’t happen to you! Think about Solomon and let us learn from his mistakes!
In Matthew 28:18-20 we are given the great commission to go into all the world and preach the gospel teaching, baptizing, and teaching. In I Timothy 4:11-16 Paul exhorted Timothy to give attendance, to meditate, to give himself wholly to the doctrine and teachings of the gospel. For in doing that he would be able to save himself and those who heard him teaching the gospel. (II Timothy 4:6-8). In writing to Timothy, Paul said that his life was over, that he had fought a good fight, finished the course and kept the faith. Because he had done all of these things he knew that there was a crown of righteousness that the Lord would give him for his labors. The non-Christian cannot do these things that we as Christians are commanded to do. So with my Christian spouse, we will be able to do all these things and after this life is over, being in covenant relationship with God, we shall find our names written in the Lamb’s Book of Life and hear the Master say: “Well done thy good and faithful servant enter into the joy of thy Lord” (Matthew 25:21). This means being in heaven, that crown of life Revelation 2:10, and being in the presence of the Godhead for all eternity with all the redeemed of all the ages. I wouldn’t find an unbelieving spouse there. She cannot and will not make it to heaven on “my coattail,”
(3) I want to marry someone to help me raise Godly children.
Proverbs 22:6 says: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Think of Timothy and the example that he had growing up and what it did for him. II Timothy l:5 says: “When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother Lois, and thy mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that is in thee also.” Timothy had the influence of Godly people in his life, his mother and grandmother. This helped him make his life what it was supposed to be towards God. II Timothy 3:15 says: “And that from a child thou has know the holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.” I want my children to grow up to serve and love the Lord. Think about how hard it is going to be with two Godly parents! On issues such and drinking, dancing, mixed swimming, bathing suits, immodest dress, prom, cheerleading etc. Children learn young about all this and more. A non-Christian’s sense of morals is not the same as mine. That’s because they do not use the Bible as their standard of authority like a Christian does. They are influenced by society and more than likely will change along with society. So what happens as my child grows older and older and sees his parents constantly disagreeing with each other on what their child can and cannot do. They see one parent always taking the easy way: the broad path that leads to destruction. (Matthew 7: 13-14). They also see that by being a Christian you have rules and restrictions! But if allowed to live like the unbelieving parent, life is fun you can do whatever you want. If this child never sees the light and does not obey the gospel then because of the example that was not set in the home life -I have brought a living soul into this life that will spend eternity in hell in the next. An unbeliever cannot bring up a child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:1-4). In most circumstances, it takes both parents to do this. Making it a reality in today’s world is very difficult at best. So we need to think about how much more difficult it will be with an unbelieving spouse pulling in the opposite direction. What an awesome responsibility it is to bring children into this world!
(4) I want to marry someone who respects me as a Christian.
Who can do this better than another Christian? No One! I don’t want to have to constantly defend my beliefs, or why I do the things I do for the Lord, to my unbelieving spouse. I want a devoted spouse who truly understands what Ecclesiastes 12:13 means and says: “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.” Well I can’t have that if I marry a non-Christian. My unbelieving spouse will not ever be able to understand Luke 14:26. She will expect me to make her the center of my life. Yet I know as a Christian that God must absolutely positively be first in my life in order for me to be pleasing unto Him. My non-Christian mate will not be able to know why she should follow Ephesians 5:22-28. The idea of submission to your husband will be ludicrous to her. Most non-Christian women today would be appalled at being called the weaker vessel, I Peter 4:7, for they can do anything that men can do!! It will be hard for someone who has no respect for the Bible and its authority or for God and His authority to have a respectful attitude toward you and your beliefs.
I have something that I would like the young Christian women to think about as well. Look at the way the world treats godly women today. They belittle and ridicule women who stay at home, raise their children and put the needs of their family before their own. The world thinks that it is crazy for a woman to do that. So why would you deliberately go and put yourself in subjection to a man who is not a Christian – who does not follow God or walk in the paths of righteousness, and in reality has no respect for you, your beliefs, or God – regardless of what we may have fooled ourselves into believing. So why would I want to spend my life with someone who doesn’t respect me for belonging to God and doesn’t respect God for who He is? That doesn’t even make good nonsense!
(5) I want to marry someone who will help make our home a center of Christian activity.
I like having people in my home, but I love having Christians in my home. People who mean the world to me that I can learn from, and receive edification from, who love the Lord as much as I do. My unbelieving spouse will not feel the same way because she doesn’t have as much in common with Christians. She may feel that Christians are boring and I don’t want any “Bible-bangers” in my home teaching my children to be “religious fanatics.” How difficult it becomes then for me to teach my children how important it is to study their Bibles regularly, pray regularly, when the non-believing parent either by verbal or nonverbal communication is telling them it isn’t necessary. When I’m married I want me and my spouse to be able to fulfill Matthew 28:18-20 together. I want my children to see both their parents living out God’s word in their lives by being examples of good, not evil. (Romans 6:16-18). I want us to be able to pray as a family, study our Bibles as a family, and have home studies with other Christians as well as those outside the body of Christ. I want to live in a godly home filled with wholesome activities and a love for the Lord and all His commandments. A home where both parents agree on discipline, morality and what is godly and what isn’t. In short I want to be like Joshua! “As for me and my house we will serve the Lord.” I cannot do this if my spouse is not a Christian.
I have resolved that if and when I marry, it will be to a Christian. The reason is because I have a simple goal. I want to be with God in heaven. I would want my spouse to be with God in heaven. I would want any children that we might have to be with God in heaven. Knowing that such a goal is possible, having a good Christian spouse will only help make it easier to obtain – and also my life on this earth a more pleasant thing. There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who are children of God and those who are children of the devil. If I marry a child of the devil then I am going to have Satan as my father-in-law, asking him to come into my house a be a resident there. Think about it! It may be smooth sailing in the beginning but sooner or later you are going to have trouble with your father-in-law. More often than not, marrying a non-Christian is the biggest mistake a Christian could ever make. Remember what Paul said in II Corinthians 6:14 “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness.” I hope that you will think about these things before you join into any marriage with a non-Christian.
Originally published in Gospel Truths, Vol. IX, Number 4, April 1998, PP.7-8